The article provides a host of conversations starters you can have with your kids to enjoy the holiday season together. It offers advice for navigating what can also be an unpredictable time for kids with the influx of events, parties, food and decor.
Table of Contents
- Traditions
- Storytelling
- Holiday Gatherings
- Conversation Topics
- Faith
- Movies
- Presents
- Songs
The holiday season is here – hooray! As a Mom to 4 and 5-year old girls, the spirit of Christmas has been reinvigorated to a whole new level. Their sense of wonder, excitement and anticipation brings back so many memories of my childhood and the experiences that made the holidays most memorable. What are ways that I can teach them the meaning of the season while building traditions that can last for generations to come? Also, as a parent how can I help them navigate the influx of holiday parties and events that are fun, and also bring changes to routine. In our house, we talk, talk and then talk some more about all the things.
Traditions
Family traditions are deeply meaningful and often the smallest traditions or mementos are the most memorable. Make a list of the 2-3 (or more) Christmas season traditions that you cherished as a child that are important for you to continue with your own family.
Traditions Conversation Topics:
- Start by explaining what a “tradition” means.
- Have meaningful conversations with your kids about how these traditions were impactful and why you want to continue them.
- Talk about new holiday traditions that you have created together that feel special and exciting. A blend of the old and the new is a fun way to celebrate the season.
- Talking about traditions are wonderful Christmas conversation starters for you and your kids. They in turn can share these special stories with other family and friends. Let them be the ambassadors of your traditions through their own lens. My girls love to hear stories about me when I was a child and when I tell them stories about a favorite family tradition, I spare no details.
“Uncle Mark and I took turns putting a patch on our Christmas calendar every morning. We would get so excited whenever we completed a row on the Christmas tree because we knew we were getting that much closer to Christmas. I always wanted to be the person who put the angel on top of the tree on Christmas Eve. My Aunt Poppy made this calendar especially for me when I was a baby and now you both get to take turns putting up the patches each morning.” My brother and I both agree that the presence of our Christmas calendar and the alternating placement of ornaments on the calendar each morning is one of our fondest Christmas memories. I was actually able to find the pattern that closely resembles my Christmas calendar and am in the process of making one for my brother’s kids!
Storytelling
Storytelling is a wonderful way to share the magic of Christmas from one generation to the next and to keep your children grounded in the deeper meaning of the season. Another dear heirloom that holds a special place is my heart is my handmade Christmas stocking that my Grandma knit for me when I was a baby. She used what is now a vintage pattern and made Christmas stockings for 100’s of family members and friends. My Grandma stopped making stockings at least 40 years ago (she has long since passed) and it has been my greatest wish that my kids and husband have stockings to match mine. My wish came true this last year when I learned that my talented cousin, Amanda was making the stockings. My husband and daughters will have their own stockings to match mine for our 2024 Christmas and it will truly make the holiday for me. I’m excited to share every detail of why these stocking are so special to our family and will even share tidbits about how my brothers and I would analyze the slightly different sizes of each stocking – my Mom’s being far and away the longest!!
Storytelling Conversation Topics:
- When the family comes over later, do you want to show Aunt Michelle our Christmas stockings? You can tell her who made mine and who made yours.
- What do you think Santa will fill your stockings with on Christmas morning?
- Do you remember who had the biggest stocking in my house when I was a little girl?
Holiday Gatherings
The Christmas holidays also bring a deviation from routine due to the influx of get togethers and parties. For some kids, these get togethers are highly anticipated and exciting. For others, they can be anxiety inducing or even stressful. The range of feelings surrounding these events is wide and, they are all ok and accepted. Causes of anxiety or stress can include: the introduction of new people and places, a change from your normal routine (even if you are getting together with family and friends that you see regularly), the presence of unfamiliar foods, sensory overload with all the Christmas decorations, presents, music and multiple conversations. A great way to lesson some of these not so pleasant feelings is so talk about upcoming get togethers to remove as many of the unknowns as possible. Bake some predictability into what can feel like an unpredictable event.
Social Gathering Conversation Tips Include:
- Tomorrow we are going over to Grandmas for a Christmas cookie party. Aunt Lisa and the Brickles will all be there too. Grandma has been working hard all week making all kinds of Christmas cookies. What kinds do you think she made? Chocolate? Peanut butter?
- When we get there, let’s make sure to look everyone in the eye and say hello. Or, should we say Merry Christmas instead? We will do this before trying any cookies.
- Once we have tasted a few cookies, we can pack the ones we want to bring home into containers that I will bring. You can each have one.
- When we are done, let’s all be sure and thank Grandma for baking cookies for us.
Repeat this process for any out of the ordinary events and get togethers that you attend as a family. Keep an open dialogue with your kids about how they are feeling before and after an event. Give your kids (and yourself) grace if there are big feelings and even tantrums during a holiday event.
Other Holiday Conversation Starters
As adults, we generally know what to expect for each festive season but kids are still learning all the ins and outs. Help them understand what to expect by explaining the general themes of the Christmas and New Year holidays.
Faith
If you are a Christian celebrating Christmas, spend quality time together explaining the reason for the season. Ideas include reading a book about the Nativity Story or watching a short movie together. Having regular meaningful discussions about the true intent of Christmas can help kids stay grounded during a time where the focus can easily turn to presents and material items. I was raised Catholic and vividly remember the excitement I felt at church each week as a new candle was lit on the Advent Wreath. Do you have a religious-based memory that you can share with the kids? Story telling is a powerful way to educate children on the meaning of the season.
Faith Conversations Can Include:
- How do you think Mary felt after such a long ride on a donkey?
- Why did the three Wise Men visit Jesus in the stable after he was born?
- What was the meaning of the star that appeared in the sky?
Movies
While my kids are still young, I am already learning that the movies that I cherished as a child, may be not have the same effect on my kids. Movie preferences can vary greatly based on the decade in which you were born. The holiday movies I loved as an 80’s kids are almost completely different from the ones adults born in the 90’s or 2000’s loved. This can feel hard but remind yourself that everyone is unique and has their own interests. If you watch your favorite Christmas movie with your kids and halfway through they say “I don’t like it,” try to keep an open mind and be willing to search for a new movie that the whole family can enjoy. As a kid I always watched the classic “Grinch,” which my kids do enjoy but together we have discovered the 2018 version of The Grinch and it instantly became a favorite for everyone. Finding the balance of continuing old traditions with creating new ones is more art than science. Also, some movies that we may have enjoyed as kids may not be relevant for kids today!
Movie Conversations Can Include:
- When we watch the Grinch this weekend, what special snacks should we have? Hot chocolate? Popcorn balls? Peppermint bark? What ideas do you have?
- Should we build a floor flop near the fire to watch our Christmas movie this Friday? Which stuffies do you each want to make sure you have?
- If you are watching a movie you have seen before, you can ask “which part of the movie are you most excited to see again? I can’t wait to see when Fred and Max jump into bed with the Grinch.”
Christmas Presents
Presents at Christmas time certainly create core memorable moments – both giving and receiving. Traditions surrounding presents often include talking about Santa Claus, looking through catalogs and circling items, making a list, editing the list, shopping, wrapping, giving and receiving. Feelings of pride related to giving on this special day continue to develop as kids grow so try and be patient if kids are most excited about the “receiving” side of Christmas. See the world through their lens and if the kids are young, help them focus on one “giving” act versus many. You can always expand on this as they grow.
Present Conversations Can Include:
- Let’s think of the best gift idea for Dad (or Grandma or Aunt Lisa or your teacher), and then we can go shopping together to pick it out. Try to pick a person / gift that you can actually buy in a store vs. online so that the kids can participate in the experience.
- While buying for others is a skill I think needs to be practiced with young kids, it may not be the exact experience you expected. My kids often struggle with not getting an item for themselves and let me know that is how they feel. I remind myself that this is developmentally normal and continue to explain that “Today we are at Target buying a Christmas gift for baby Liana. On Christmas Day, I am sure you will get gifts of your own from family. Let’s focus on what Liana would like.”
- If you don’t want to tackle shopping for a gift(s) with your child, encourage them to create a Christmas gift for someone else. My kids are permanently parked at the dining table coloring so I will encourage them to make a drawing for each person coming to our house for a Christmas get together. My oldest likes to place a picture at each person’s seat and then show them as soon as they arrive. I’ve found that it helps strengthen her communication skills and social skills related to greeting people, saying hello and welcoming them into our home.
- Our church is collecting food for people in the neighborhood who might need a little extra help buying groceries for their Christmas celebration, can you help me pick items from the pantry might like?”
Christmas Songs
We all have a favorite Christmas song right? “White Christmas” and “Colorado Christmas” are two of mine and I’d have to include the silly “Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer” as well since my cousins and I would blast that every Christmas Eve and giggle as we sang to my Grandma and Grandpa. Music is a great way to get kids into the spirit and make holiday activities such as making Christmas cards and cookies even more fun.
Song Conversations Can Include:
- What Christmas songs should I add to my playlist for our drive?
- What is your #1 favorite Christmas song this year?
- Should we play music while we enjoy our holiday meal?
Remember the best thing about the season for you may be different from that of your kids and that is ok!! The above ideas are fun conversation starters to allow you to create memories with your family.
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