How to Minimize Awkward Virtual Meeting Moments

This article provides proactive strategies for eliminating awkward moments on video conferencing calls – both for the host and participants.  It discusses best practices to get the audience engaged during your scheduled time together and, minimize distractions. 

We have all been a part of meetings – both virtual meetings and in-person meetings – where weird and awkward moments occurred.  It happens.  We are all human and therefore doing and saying things that can lead to awkward team meetings will never totally go away.  Let’s discuss several best practices that can minimize unproductive occurrences with team members.  

1) Close any screen you would not want the entire meeting to see

Screen sharing on video calls is technically easy…you hit the share button and pick the screen you want to share.  For some reason however, it is actually hard to pick the correct screen and I speak from personal experience! I work from 2-3 screens at any given time and 50% of the time, I struggle….more so with Microsoft Teams than Zoom as a Zoom meeting gives you a private preview of the screen you are about to share.  Knowing I have a tendency to not share the correct screen the first time, I make sure to close every single window and tab before the meeting.  No one needs to see the screen for my kid’s camp registration or my latest google search results.  Plan for mishaps while continuing to try improve your skills.

2) Be mindful of body language for any kind of meeting

Can anyone else tell when other participants on a call are clearly sending one another Teams or Slack messages?  Facial expressions such as shared smiles and smirks can make the best of us paranoid and the side chatter is more obvious than you think.  This isn’t a phone call – we see you!! Unless you are coordinating a presentation with a colleague or discussing something absolutely necessary relevant to the live conversation, try to remain as focused as possible on the actual conversation vs. side messaging. It can come across as unprofessional. Also related to body language, when you are speaking or listening, your eye contact should be with the screen where the camera is located.  If you are looking at another screen, you appear distracted and disengaged which causes other participants to wonder if you are paying attention.  

3) Never ever, ever, ever share comments about people, on the call, in messaging platforms

Related to comments 1 and 2, if you need to share your screen and accidentally share your Slack or Teams messaging window, are you ok with everyone seeing your open conversation?  When I worked at a software company, I was on a video conferencing call with the sales rep and a prospect.  The prospect had to step away to take a call so I started Slacking with the sales rep about the call thus far.  Later, when I shared my screen to start the demo, I accidentally shared the window with my Slack converation and the prospect saw that I had commented “Jay is hard to read…”  Luckily Jay had a good sense of humor and joked that he was indeed hard to read but I was MORTIFED, and my face turned the brightest shade of red.  

4) Present the least distracting background possible for video meetings

My brother-in-law is firmly rooted in one political camp and the bookshelves behind his computer camera are packed with books related to his political party of choice.  I know he removes the political books for any new job interviews, but my recommendation would be to remove any background items that could come across as controversial, divisive, or of course offensive.  If you are not interested in changing your decor, opt for the “standard blur” background as it prevents other members of the video conference from seeing specific details.  Or, you can choose a professional looking virtual background instead.  No laser beams. No Eiffel Towers. In general, I find non-blurred backgrounds distracting…especially people who have beautifully styled bookshelves.  I’ll find myself either trying to read book titles or daydreaming about design ideas for my own office!  I am also not a big fan of beds being in a background for meetings.  Would you ever host a group of people in a bedroom in your home for an in-person meeting?  Likely the answer is no so let’s not invite remote teams into our bedrooms for remote meetings.  A virtual background is the ideal fix if a bedroom is the only space available for your next zoom call.

5) Small talk strategy 

As a 100% extrovert, I never mind a couple minutes of small talk at the start of a call but I equally understand how this can feel draining to others.  For large groups on a call where you are the host, it is perfectly acceptable to say “we will get started in two minutes” and let there be silence among the group. Attendees are more than content to have two minutes to check email, send a quick text or just grab a sip of water.  If others on the call want to talk, that is fine but don’t feel like you need to ask icebreaker questions.  We have all done this video chat thing for years.  Silence can be golden.  For smaller groups, if you feel like you want to chat for a couple minutes before launching right into business, one strategy is to ask a pointed question like “Hi Meg – how are you?  What was the best part of your weekend?”  It spices up the common “How was your weekend?” question.  If I know the people on the call, I will generally ask someone a question that shows I know / remember something about them.  Eg. “Brenna, did your daughter have fun at space camp last week?” or “Dave, where did you travel to last week?”  If you don’t know the people but again don’t want to jump right in, you can ask “Hi Olivia, where is home for you?” or “Hi Sofie, how is this Wednesday going for you?”  Always follow the nonverbal cues your audience is giving you when it comes to small talk.  If your main point of contact is bristling at your questions about their weekend, launch right into business.  Conversely, if you are having luck building connection on Disney, run with it for another minute or two before switching to the agenda.  

6) Manage your background noise

Thankfully, Teams and Zoom have gotten incredibly sophisticated when it comes to suppressing noises outside the immediate sphere of the call.  This is great for remote work employees worried about the baby crying in the background or the dog barking.  Unless you are confident that someone can hear noises in your background, don’t bring them up!  I see this all the time where people will say “I am so sorry, my dog is going nuts because there is a delivery at our door.”  Stay focused my friends, stay focused.  Chances are the audience can’t hear the noises so why bring them up?   Even if they can hear, chances are the sound is faint, which is fine!  With all that being said, don’t get cheeky and try to host your remote staff meetings at Starbucks!  Fine if you are a participant having to make the occasional comment but if you are the main speaker, don’t test the limits of the noise cancelling technology.  I have respect for the on-the-go professionals, taking calls **and being on video** in their non-moving vehicle. There is nothing more quiet than a car!!  I have a sweet new 2015 minivan and have already taken several calls in her.  

7) Help people stay focused

It is hard to remain as focused during virtual team meetings as you would for an in-person meetings in my humble opinion.  There are more distractions, and it is easier to hide reading emails on the side or checking your phone (especially if you are not on camera).  If you are the host of a meeting, encourage good team performance and participation by having your camera on as a starting point.  While you don’t want to demand or even ask people to turn on their cameras, if you lead by example and others turn on their camera, this eliminates many of the distractions present at home.  Another great way to keep people engaged on a call is to mention them by name via question or comment.  “Stephanie, what do you think about including the VA Hospital in our proposal?”  It becomes obvious quickly if the person to whom the question was directed was not paying attention and this can be a bit awkward!  Usually the response is “Um….can you repeat the question?”  Knowing you are asking direct questions on the conference call usually snaps people to attention so that they don’t look unprepared.  This strategy also leads to a more inclusive meeting especially if someone doesn’t appear super engaged or interested in the conversation. “Mark, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic…”  As we have discussed many times on this blog the power of using another person’s name is a strong way to build connection.  

8) Minimize distractions in your virtual meeting room

We all remember the early days of recurrent zoom calls – circa 2020.  Back then and probably even into 2022 it was humorous when a client’s large golden retriever came into camera view for a snuggle or a child wandered in asking for a snack.  We are well past those days of “figuring it out” and now the expectation is to conduct business as usual whether you are participating on a virtual call or in-person meeting.  I say that and equally understand that people participating remotely can’t 100% eliminate all distractions.  My 4-year is famous for sneaking past her Dad and into my office during calls.  She has a knack for breaking in just as I am speaking. Instead of acknowledging what is happening, which can be distracting for everyone else, I turn off my camera right as she is coming into view and continue speaking. When I am done speaking, I will pause my audio and call upstairs for backup and encourage her to go play.  It is not ideal but we are all co-habitating under one roof!

9) Start and end your meetings on time

Timeliness is a hallmark of professionalism, and this especially applies to showing up to meetings on time. If you are the host of a virtual or in-person meeting, it is equally as important to end meetings on time as it is to start them on time.  When a meeting doesn’t end on time and people continue to talk after the end time, it puts others in the uncomfortable situation of needing / wanting to leave but also feeling they need to speak up that they are leaving.  This often requires interrupting the person continuing to speak. If ending on time means you don’t get to your full agenda, then that is what needs to happen.  Maybe next time you need to schedule more time or, get to the agenda quicker.  Also, 30-minute meetings are ideal when you are asking people to participate virtually!